Do you think this is a good essay and is very descriptive. Is there anything that you would change.?

North Carolina is a glamorous state



Imagine a place that has huge mountains, pine trees, and crystal clear lakes that just take your breath away, and this place is North Carolina. When I visited North Carolina a year ago, I was astonished by how much scenery and attractions North Carolina had to offer me. The reasons why North Carolina is such a fascinating place to visit is it has beautiful scenery, awesome attractions, and other good places to go and see.

To start off with, one reason why North Carolina is such gorgeous place to visit is because of its scenery. North Carolina has probably the tallest mountains that you could ever see; an example of one would be the Appalachian Mountains. The Application Mountains has many mountain ranges in North Carolina such as the Great Smokey Mountains, Black Mountains, and the Blue Ridge mountains. These green colored mountain ranges contain hill tops, huge trees, and crystal lakes. There are green hill tops that surround a mountain range they have a low peak and a high peak, these hill look like a slope going up and down. Some hills are smaller than others. The hill tops are across from each other and at the tail end of each hill is connected. There are also huge green pine trees which rest on the hills and there are about 2,000 or trees total. There are also crystal clear lakes that surround the mountain. Blue Ridge parkway is a mountain that has many colorful pine trees such as orange, red, and green. Blue Ridge Park also has walking trails were you can walk through them or drive through them. Blue Ridge Park also has a lake the swirls around the mountain. The scenery of North Carolina shows the true beauty of the state.

Subsequently, another reason why North Carolina is such a dazzling place to visit is its attractions. One attraction that is a must see in North Carolina is Chimney Rock State Park. At Chimney Rock State Park, you take an elevator ride up on the top of the mountain called Chimney Rock, and you get to walk around on the top of the mountain. Chimney rock is 315 feet from the ground. Chimney rock looks like a huge tan boulder rock on the bottom and on the top of the first rock is a tan boulder rock but with a narrow tail. On the tail of the top rock is a light brown stair case that is used for you to get on top of the mountain. On the north end of the top rock is the American flag standing up. Down below both rocks are green pine trees, a few gorges, and some green hill tops. On the east end right below the rock is a crystal lake. North Carolina also has a neat attraction called Hickory Nut Falls. Hickory Nut Falls is probably one of the largest waterfalls in the United States and it is absolutely spectacular to go and see. Hickory Nut falls is 404 feet from the ground. Hickory Nut Falls looks like three brown bolder rocks stacked up together. All around Hickory Nut Falls there are some green pine trees. From the top to the bottom of the waterfall there is white water that is flowing straight from the top to the bottom. On the bottom of the waterfall there is a pond filled with water that came from the water fall and under the water there are small rocks. Attractions are what make North Carolina a unique state.

As a final point, North Carolina is a lovely place to visit because it has many other places to go and see. One place is in Ashville, North Carolina, which is an old historic hotel where I stayed (in their) one night. It is a hotel that Abraham Lincoln would have stayed in. In the hotel it had old wood desks, small bedrooms, and a lobby with old historic chairs, tables, and pictures. Another place is Lake Lure. Lake Lure is a nice big lake where you can take a pontoon boat out into the lake and you get to go around the whole lake and you also see a mountain that surrounds it. There are also many good restaurants that serve good food such as hamburgers, steak, and other types of food.

To sum up, North Carolina is a gorgeous place that will make you never want to leave. North Carolina has breathtaking scenery, attractions, and many other places that are just worth seeing. So pack up your bags and go visit the beautiful state of North Carolina.



What would you give this essay out of 10 points. Oh, I'm a freshman in college.Do you think this is a good essay and is very descriptive. Is there anything that you would change.?
I'd find another word besides glamorous - it doesn't fit.

I would change sentence 2 to read: ...how much scenery and how many attractions...



pp1Sentence 3: It is a fascinating place to visit because of it's beautiful scenery...



pp2 - delete first sentence. Sentence 2 is far from correct, as the Rockies are far, far larger than the Applachians, to say nothing of the Himalayas. Applachia is beautiful in it's own way - but to say it's amazing large is simply not true.

Sentence 3 - Application Mountains? Better change that.

Sentence 4 - all mountain ranges contain hill tops Mr. Obvious. Strike that.

Delete sentences 5 and 6. And 7.

Sentence 8 - don't try to estimate the number of trees, just say 'thousands'

Also combine sentences 8 and 9.

Sentence 10 - Blue Ridge Parkway? is that a road or a mountain?

Also, different colors of pine trees? Probably not. Unless they are dead. Pine trees are called evergreens for a reason. You may be speaking of the deciduous trees native to that region, which turn beautiful colors in the fall, drawing hundreds of thousands of people.

Sentence 12: change to lake THAT swirls around a mountain. No need to use caps, I'm just highlighting the change.

Delete last sentence.



pp3



Change first sentence to: North Carolina's dazzling natural features also attract many visitors to the state.

2nd Sentence change to: On the must-see list are Chimney Rock and Hickory Nut Falls. At Chimney Rock State Park an elevator can be taken to the top of Chimney Rock...

Combine sentences 3 and 4 and delete the detail about the boulder.

Combine sentences 5 and 6.

Delete sentence 7 about the lake unless you are going to go into detail about the lake.



For rest of answer, see your other questionDo you think this is a good essay and is very descriptive. Is there anything that you would change.?
Good Job!

Scenery is used quite often try supbstituting view, landscape, or terrain.

~~~I have entered my suggestions in capital letters.~~~~~~~



Imagine a place that has huge mountains, pine trees, and crystal clear lakes that just take your breath away, and this place is North Carolina. When I visited North Carolina a year ago, I was astonished by the LANDSCAPE and attractions North Carolina had to offer me. The reasons why North Carolina is such a fascinating place to visit is it has beautiful scenery, awesome attractions, and other good places to go and see.

To start off with, one reason why North Carolina is such a gorgeous place to visit is because of its TERRAIN. North Carolina has probably the tallest mountains that you could ever see; an example of one would be the Appalachian Mountains. The Application (WRONG WORD) Mountains has (HAVE) many mountain ranges in North Carolina such as the Great Smokey Mountains, Black Mountains, and the Blue Ridge ((M)ountains. These green colored mountain ranges contain hill tops, huge trees, and crystal lakes. There are green hill tops that surround a mountain range they have a low peak and a high peak, these hill(S) look like a slope going up and down. Some hills are smaller than others. The hill tops are across from each other and at the tail end of each hill is connected. There are also huge green pine trees which rest on the hills and there are about 2,000 (OR?) trees total. There are also crystal clear lakes that surround the mountain. Blue Ridge parkway is a mountain that has many colorful pine trees such as orange, red, and green. Blue Ridge Park also has walking trails were you can walk through them or drive through them. Blue Ridge Park also has a lake the (THAT) swirls around the mountain. The scenery of North Carolina shows the true beauty of the state.

Subsequently, another reason why North Carolina is such a dazzling place to visit is its attractions. One attraction that is a must see in North Carolina is Chimney Rock State Park. At Chimney Rock State Park, you take an elevator ride up on(TO) the top of the mountain called Chimney Rock, and you HAVE THE PLEASURE OF WALKING)to walk around on the top of the mountain. Chimney rock is 315 feet from the ground. Chimney rock looks like a huge tan boulder rock on the bottom and on the top of the first rock is a tan boulder rock but with a narrow tail. On the tail of the top rock is a light brown stair case that is used for you to get on top of the mountain. On the north end of the top rock is the American flag standing up(WAVING IN THE BREEZE). Down below both rocks are (TALL) pine trees, a few gorges, and some green hill tops. On the east end right below the rock is a crystal lake. North Carolina also has a neat attraction called Hickory Nut Falls. Hickory Nut Falls is probably one of the largest waterfalls in the United States and it is absolutely spectacular to go and see. Hickory Nut falls is 404 feet from the ground. Hickory Nut Falls looks like three (HUGE)brown bolder rocks stacked up together. All around Hickory Nut Falls (YOU WILL FIND THE SAME BEAUTIFUL PINE TREES) there are some green pine trees. From the top to the bottom of the waterfall there is (SHIMMERING, SPARKLING) water that is flowing straight from the top to the bottom. On the bottom of the waterfall there is a (POOL)filled with (THE REFRESHING LOOKING) water that came from the fall and under the water there are small rocks (THAT I WANTED TO PICK UP). Attractions are what make North Carolina a unique state.

As a final point, North Carolina is a lovely place to visit because it has many other places to go and see. One place is in Ashville, North Carolina, which is an old historic hotel where I stayed (in their NOT NEEDED) one night. It is a hotel that Abraham Lincoln would(COULD) have stayed in. In the hotel it had old wood desks (I COULD ALMOST IMAGINE ABRAHAM LINCOLN SITTING IN), small (COMPACT) bedrooms, and (AN AWESOME) lobby with (ANTIQUE) historic chairs, tables, and pictures. Another place is Lake Lure. Lake Lure is a nice big lake where you can take a pontoon boat out into the lake and you get to go around the whole lake and you also see a mountain that surrounds it (WHAT A WONDERFUL SPOT FOR A GET AWAY). There are also many (TERRIFIC) restaurants that serve (MOUTH WATERING) food such as hamburgers, steak, and (ALMOST EVERYTHING ELSE YOU COULD POSSIBLY WANT) (AND THE SWEET ICED TEA WAS MARVELOUS).

To sum up, North Carolina is a gorgeous place that will make you never want to leave. North Carolina has breathtaking scenery, (OVER WHELMING) attractions, and many other (SPOTS) that are just worth seeing. So pack up your bags and go visit the beautiful state of North Carolina.